The Battle of Gable Hill

3 02 2004

We live in an old house with a steep-pitched roof and lots of windows. Forty-eight I think. Right now an army of roofers is tromping around on my roof battling gravity in an attempt to conquer the ugly flat brown shingles and remove them from their current hierarchic postion. The goal is to replace them with a kinder, gentler architectural regime, which will give the roof a nice, harmonious shake shingle appearance.

That’s all great. It’s a war effort I fully support. I’m just trying to get used to the non-stop noise of battle. And I’m not overly thrilled with the fact that, every time I walk through a room, I see a roof trooper outside the window. I feel surrounded and exposed. Am I the commander of this army . . . or just a hostage? I can’t tell.

At least they moved the two trucks that were blocking the driveway when I asked them to, allowing me to escape in my car for a while. Until we sign a cease-fire, I think I’ll park in the street. And keep the blinds closed. And wear ear plugs.

It’s going to be a really nice roof. One we can all live under in peace. Some day.



5 responses

3 02 2004

de roof, de roof, de roof is on fire

We don’t need no water let the spirit rise higher (or some such enlightened phrase). So what? I am a former high school cheerleader. I can admit it. I am okay with that now.
Why replace the roof? Didn’t you guys just replace it a few years ago when that tornado/hailstorm came through? Shake shingles will give it a really great Shakespearean appearance though. But not cheap.
I will tell you about how I put my foot in my mouth (surprise, surprise) with the roofers. I congenially called out to them, “Hey roof monkeys” and then realized that a full third of them were of a darker persuasion, which had nothing to do with the mokey comment at all, but I am sure they thought it did. I stayed inside hiding in the kitchen for the rest of the time they were there. Its not like I could say “I didn’t mean you were monkeys because of your skin color but the way you climb around up on the roof.” Oh well. To borrow from Fiona Apple, “I’ve acquired quite a taste for a well made mistake.”

3 02 2004

Re: de roof, de roof, de roof is on fire

No, we didn’t replace it when the hailstorm came through, even though we did collect insurance for that purpose. We’re slow.

I can’t believe you called them “roof monkeys.” You’re a trip. I think you should have stood out there and explained yourself. That’s what I love most about your particular brand of foot-in-mouth disease. You usually don’t stop at the first step, but go ahead and perform a full-blown mouth tango.

One of my roof troopers started singing in Spanish today. Loudly. I kind of liked it. I think he was entertaining his buddies, because they all laughed when he stopped. The part of the roof they’ve finished looks awesome.

Muy bueno. Mucho gusto.

4 02 2004

WHAT?!?!?! why didn’t you discuss this with me?! i liked the old roof just fine? and what are these shake shingles you speak of? im confused? is it kind of like thatch? i want a thatch roof! GIVE ME THATCH OR GIVE ME DEATH!


4 02 2004

We should have called you. What were we thinking?

They aren’t real shake shingles. They’re called architectural shingles, and they have the appearance of shake. There’s depth to the way they lie as opposed to lying flat on the roof.

Thatch would be charming, but we wouldn’t be able to get home insurance. However, I’m not inclined to give you death, so I’m afraid you’ll have to be disappointed this time around. Would a pony help?

Love, Momzy

4 02 2004

Re: We should have called you. What were we thinking?

a pony will suffice… this time.


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