Confession time

28 07 2004

Now that I’ve gently broken the news to Luke (a.k.a. Mr. Soak-Your-Pipe-Tobacco-in-Brandy-to-make-it-Smoother), I guess I can tell the rest of the world. That would be “the world” as in the five people who read this journal. I’m talking to you.

When I went to Seattle in late June, my daughter, five of her girlfriends, and I went to a hookah bar. Yes, it’s true. I smoked a hookah pipe. The girls had been planning to go for months, and it just so happened the last chance they had before several of them left for the summer was during the week of my visit. They invited me along, and of course I accepted.

This is how it went. The seven of us approached the twenty-something Pakistani (we’ll call him Mohammed) behind the counter. None of us had the first clue how these things are handled. One of the girls spoke up. “We want to rent a hookah pipe.”

Mohammed looked us over then grinned. “Okay. Pick your flavor.”

“Flavor?”

He pointed. “Over there.”

We walked to the shelf and eyed the titles, most of them fruity. After a brief discussion, we returned to the counter. “What do you recommend?”

“Grape.”

“Okay. We want grape.”

He chuckled. “I bring it out to you.”

We crowded seven chairs around the small round table on the sidewalk. Mohammed brought the hookah with its one hose to be shared among us. He explained the process, stepped back, and watched.

The girls–none of them smokers, and a few of them squeamish about sharing germs–proved themselves true adventurers. We passed the pipe round and round the table, laughing at ourselves. Mohammed laughed, too. I think we made his night. At one point, he showed us how to blow into the pipe to clear one of the chambers. Don’t ask me how the thing works. I just know the water in the bottom cools the smoke, so when you draw it into your mouth, it’s like sucking in flavored air without the burning sensation common to pipe smoking. (I’ve never smoked a pipe, but Luke tells me the smoke is hot. Makes sense. It is on fire.) Hookah smoke isn’t hot. It rolls pleasantly over your tongue with its subtle pick-your-flavor taste.

None of us managed anything fancy like the caterpillar’s A, E, I, O, U rings in Alice in Wonderland. But everyone agreed my technique was best. I tried to explain to them it was more like drinking through a straw–filling your mouth with a non-liquid beverage, then spitting it out. I told them not to breathe it. But they coughed and sputtered and snorted grape smoke through their noses.

Grace watched me with a curious eye. “You’re really good at this, Mom. Are you sure you haven’t had experience?”

“I’m a quick learner, dear.” I really am. And a wonderful role model, too, don’t you think?

So, that’s my story. But don’t worry. I’m not hooked on hookah. It was an interesting experience, but nothing I need to ever do again. As far as I know.


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30 responses

28 07 2004
armored_mind

horrors!

Oh no! I’m going to church with a smoker?? I’ll never get over it. Shame, shame, shame! I’ll report you to the session!

😛

28 07 2004
armored_mind

horrors!

Oh no! I’m going to church with a smoker?? I’ll never get over it. Shame, shame, shame! I’ll report you to the session!

😛

28 07 2004
wordgeek

Well, what was IN the hookah? Tobacco, I hope.

28 07 2004
wordgeek

Well, what was IN the hookah? Tobacco, I hope.

28 07 2004
lbsteffy

Confessions of a impertinent mind

I and a couple of my friends did the same thing this last year. I then called my mother the next day and told her all about it. She laughed and I proceeded to tell her upon her next visit she would be joining me in the experience.
While Dustin and my mom were in Canada they searched for a hookah bar (with which my mom kept calling pot) but never suceeded.
One day I will submerge her into this well-flavored culture you and I have experienced.
It was fun.

28 07 2004
lbsteffy

Confessions of a impertinent mind

I and a couple of my friends did the same thing this last year. I then called my mother the next day and told her all about it. She laughed and I proceeded to tell her upon her next visit she would be joining me in the experience.
While Dustin and my mom were in Canada they searched for a hookah bar (with which my mom kept calling pot) but never suceeded.
One day I will submerge her into this well-flavored culture you and I have experienced.
It was fun.

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: horrors!

Oh! Please report me to the session! That sounds fun. I’ve never been reported before that I know of. New experiences are my idiom.

♥ EZ

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: horrors!

Oh! Please report me to the session! That sounds fun. I’ve never been reported before that I know of. New experiences are my idiom.

♥ EZ

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

That I do not know. We didn’t ask. We just requested grape. :o)

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

That I do not know. We didn’t ask. We just requested grape. :o)

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Confessions of a impertinent mind

Yes, it was fun. You and Grace are good daughters, because you like to include your momzies in the festivities. I think you both deserve an extra 100 points.

What flavor did you choose?

28 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Confessions of a impertinent mind

Yes, it was fun. You and Grace are good daughters, because you like to include your momzies in the festivities. I think you both deserve an extra 100 points.

What flavor did you choose?

28 07 2004
lbsteffy

Re: Confessions of a impertinent mind

I was told Vanilla was “da bomb”, so that’s what we got.

28 07 2004
lbsteffy

Re: Confessions of a impertinent mind

I was told Vanilla was “da bomb”, so that’s what we got.

28 07 2004
ilitherian

TOBACCO FIEND!

love,
luke

28 07 2004
ilitherian

TOBACCO FIEND!

love,
luke

28 07 2004
ragamuffen

I know…I’m astonished.

*giggle*

xxoo

28 07 2004
ragamuffen

I know…I’m astonished.

*giggle*

xxoo

28 07 2004
cocinelle

apparently

your “five” friends are posting at least twice, for you now have ten comments 🙂 Hookah smoking only looks bad. Anything that comes in grape flavor is forgivable.
What did dear George say?

28 07 2004
cocinelle

apparently

your “five” friends are posting at least twice, for you now have ten comments 🙂 Hookah smoking only looks bad. Anything that comes in grape flavor is forgivable.
What did dear George say?

29 07 2004
gaia43

Sounds like you had great fun! New experiences pop out of nowhere and you surprise yourself!

29 07 2004
gaia43

Sounds like you had great fun! New experiences pop out of nowhere and you surprise yourself!

29 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: apparently

He was scandalized. But he got over it in a jiffy and returned me to my pedestal. Heh heh. I love my life.

29 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: apparently

He was scandalized. But he got over it in a jiffy and returned me to my pedestal. Heh heh. I love my life.

29 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Life is a smorgasboard of new adventures, and I’m open to lots of ’em. However, if they’d invited me to bungee jump off a bridge over the highway, I probably would have declined the offer. I value my citizenship in Lunacy Land, but I do have my limits.

29 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Life is a smorgasboard of new adventures, and I’m open to lots of ’em. However, if they’d invited me to bungee jump off a bridge over the highway, I probably would have declined the offer. I value my citizenship in Lunacy Land, but I do have my limits.

30 07 2004
ljadministrator

You nutsy nutsy nuts-o! You describe the experiences so well… Maybe you could try some Hunter Thompson.

Jesse

30 07 2004
ljadministrator

You nutsy nutsy nuts-o! You describe the experiences so well… Maybe you could try some Hunter Thompson.

Jesse

30 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Dig it.

30 07 2004
jeannedamoff

Dig it.

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