Hmmm. Now where did I leave that whip?

7 09 2004

As I mentioned in my previous post, George, Jacob, and I had lunch with my parents Saturday. We told them we were coming to Dallas to shop, but we didn’t tell them what we planned to buy. After we sat down to eat, Mom asked me what we were shopping for.

A note of explanation here is in order. For those of you who don’t know us well, we live a pretty simple lifestyle. Our decision to buy a sporty little car fell well on the extravagant side of our normal choices. When Mom asked her question, George and I glanced at each other and grinned. After a few moments of Mom looking back and forth between us and no one saying anything, George spoke up.

“Jeanne’s getting some leather.”

Knowing he meant the car’s upholstery, I chuckled.

Mom took another bite of tuna salad and calmly asked, “What are you getting? A dominatrix outfit?”

Dad dropped his fork. George’s eyes widened. For once I was thankful Jacob did not know a word’s meaning.

I blurted, “MOM!” and then laughed. “Do you think we’ve turned into pervs or something?”

She shrugged. “Well, you’re the ones being all secretive and smiling at each other.”

I explained we were getting leather seats, and though Mom still didn’t catch on right away, Dad immediately realized we were car shopping.

I would tell you about the dream interpretation she gave me when I came to her at thirteen, upset about a nightmare I’d had the night before. But I’m planning to use it in a scene in my current novel, so you’ll have to wait. Suffice it to say she’d read enough Freud to horrify an adolescent girl.

A dominatrix outfit! I don’t even want to know why she thought of that first thing. Poor Dad.

Pleasant dreams, gang. I’m keeping mine leather-free.


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34 responses

7 09 2004
Anonymous

Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Last night I was glad my 16 yo daughter was occupied elsewhere when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

I suppose the only thing we can do is wait for this vile (creepy, disgusting, vulgar, lewd, unsanitary, demeaning and violent) stuff to run its course and become passe.

Susan Kaye

7 09 2004
Anonymous

Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Last night I was glad my 16 yo daughter was occupied elsewhere when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

I suppose the only thing we can do is wait for this vile (creepy, disgusting, vulgar, lewd, unsanitary, demeaning and violent) stuff to run its course and become passe.

Susan Kaye

7 09 2004
milesprowl

Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses. [Sings out, “Angel!” like in the David Bowie song Golden Years.] I’m sick [coughs]. Anywhat, your mom reminds me of Crystals grandmother. She sounds cool.

7 09 2004
milesprowl

Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses. [Sings out, “Angel!” like in the David Bowie song Golden Years.] I’m sick [coughs]. Anywhat, your mom reminds me of Crystals grandmother. She sounds cool.

7 09 2004
Anonymous

I’m cool, I’m hip. Yea, right! I embarrass my kids on a regular basis. I hope I’m as ‘with it’ as your mom when I’m her age…or at least when I’m older. Who knows? I might be her age now!

Donna

7 09 2004
Anonymous

I’m cool, I’m hip. Yea, right! I embarrass my kids on a regular basis. I hope I’m as ‘with it’ as your mom when I’m her age…or at least when I’m older. Who knows? I might be her age now!

Donna

7 09 2004
Anonymous

your mom’s a hoot

I think you’re mom is hilarious. Right on, Mom!

Deborah

7 09 2004
Anonymous

your mom’s a hoot

I think you’re mom is hilarious. Right on, Mom!

Deborah

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: your mom’s a hoot

Donna, she’s 72. You’ve got a few years to go. ;o)

Deborah, yes, she’s hilarious. I’ll admit there are times I wish she’d keep her hilarity to herself. But she cracks me up most of the time. I love her.

Thanks for stopping by my journal!

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: your mom’s a hoot

Donna, she’s 72. You’ve got a few years to go. ;o)

Deborah, yes, she’s hilarious. I’ll admit there are times I wish she’d keep her hilarity to herself. But she cracks me up most of the time. I love her.

Thanks for stopping by my journal!

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses.

Well, now, this may shed some light on the insomnia and exploding-teeth dreams, eh?

Mom is a trip. I just warn people to travel at their own risk. ;o)

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Funny I find my dreams pleasant only if they have leather… and nurses.

Well, now, this may shed some light on the insomnia and exploding-teeth dreams, eh?

Mom is a trip. I just warn people to travel at their own risk. ;o)

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Judging by history, I don’t think sexual shenanigans are in danger of ever becoming passe. But at least our kids have other options. Have you introduced your daughter to Dostoyevsky?* :o)

*see my August 11 post

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Judging by history, I don’t think sexual shenanigans are in danger of ever becoming passe. But at least our kids have other options. Have you introduced your daughter to Dostoyevsky?* :o)

*see my August 11 post

7 09 2004
allenb

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

Involuntary Cringe!!!!

7 09 2004
allenb

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

when a reference to genital piercings was made on a CBS comedy.

Involuntary Cringe!!!!

7 09 2004
allenb

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Dostoyevsky, the literary contraceptive.

7 09 2004
allenb

Re: Ah, but it’s mainstream now

Dostoyevsky, the literary contraceptive.

7 09 2004
allenb

Wow … I mean she said that right over the dinner table I mean … wow. She uh … whoa. Although the headline kinda grabbed me, and not in a way that made me comfortable. lol

7 09 2004
allenb

Wow … I mean she said that right over the dinner table I mean … wow. She uh … whoa. Although the headline kinda grabbed me, and not in a way that made me comfortable. lol

7 09 2004
ilitherian

there are some words you never want to hear your mother say (or type)… Dominatrix happens to be on my personal list…

love,
luke

7 09 2004
ilitherian

there are some words you never want to hear your mother say (or type)… Dominatrix happens to be on my personal list…

love,
luke

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Well, your mother only typed it because her mother said it. And honestly, are you surprised?

Miss you.

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Well, your mother only typed it because her mother said it. And honestly, are you surprised?

Miss you.

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Oh, Allen. The stories I could tell but probably won’t. Let’s just say discretion is not her forte and leave it at that.

Sorry ’bout the headline. ;o)

7 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Oh, Allen. The stories I could tell but probably won’t. Let’s just say discretion is not her forte and leave it at that.

Sorry ’bout the headline. ;o)

8 09 2004
cocinelle

shocker

So what, like you don’t have a dominatrix outfit in your closet? And here I had always thought that you were a very honest person 🙂
I think your mother must have a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine. I saw a blurb on it recently about “fun and frisky ways to tantalize your partner (our favorite requires a glazed donut)”. Thankfully Judah cannot put that many phonetic sounds together that quickly! I am all for fun and frisky but why should the things that go on between one’s legs be spread from person to person like an STD of bad ideas? Need to know, people. It works for the FBI just fine!
“Let me tell you this great story on oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘no.'” _ Woody Allen

8 09 2004
cocinelle

shocker

So what, like you don’t have a dominatrix outfit in your closet? And here I had always thought that you were a very honest person 🙂
I think your mother must have a subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine. I saw a blurb on it recently about “fun and frisky ways to tantalize your partner (our favorite requires a glazed donut)”. Thankfully Judah cannot put that many phonetic sounds together that quickly! I am all for fun and frisky but why should the things that go on between one’s legs be spread from person to person like an STD of bad ideas? Need to know, people. It works for the FBI just fine!
“Let me tell you this great story on oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘no.'” _ Woody Allen

8 09 2004
Anonymous

Jealous

I SOOOO want a mini! I am surrounded by the old versions ( they are everywhere in New Zealand) but that doesnt stop me from dreaming about having my own one day!)

Crazy how I found your livejournal by the way 😉

Abigail

http://www.abigailsday.blogspot.com

8 09 2004
Anonymous

Jealous

I SOOOO want a mini! I am surrounded by the old versions ( they are everywhere in New Zealand) but that doesnt stop me from dreaming about having my own one day!)

Crazy how I found your livejournal by the way 😉

Abigail

http://www.abigailsday.blogspot.com

9 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Jealous

I love my mini. So cute and fun to drive!

How did you find my livejournal?

9 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: Jealous

I love my mini. So cute and fun to drive!

How did you find my livejournal?

9 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: shocker

I’m waiting for the day you just come right out and bluntly share your opinions, Jen. :o)

Great Woody Allen quote!

9 09 2004
jeannedamoff

Re: shocker

I’m waiting for the day you just come right out and bluntly share your opinions, Jen. :o)

Great Woody Allen quote!

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