Date night

25 08 2005

George commutes between home and the university. He stays at my sister’s house several nights a week, because it’s only blocks from his lab and allows him to start early and work late.

We’ve been married for more than twenty-six years. After that much time a relationship can become like a favorite pair of jeans. A little worn around the edges, perhaps, but comfortable. Maybe too comfortable–to the point where you almost forget you have them on.

I read a great quote on Katy P.’s blog recently:

“If the Stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes we forget what we’ve been given, simply because it becomes too familiar. So, even though George’s temporary arrangement has definite drawbacks, it has also served a lovely purpose in our marriage.

Date night. Wednesday evenings belong to us. He makes the long drive home for one purpose. To be with me.

It’s not always a fancy occasion. Sometimes we just stay home and watch a movie. But last night was one of those times when the stars come out and light the evening with their admonishing smile. A smile that recalls many of the reasons you first fell in love.

George e-mailed me in the morning stating his intention to try to get away early enough to take me somewhere nice for dinner. In anticipation I changed from my “work clothes” (I write at home, so this can be anything from PJs to gym shorts to those favorite faded jeans.) When he showed up I was wearing a long, tiered, cocoa-colored gypsy skirt. An airy white blouse revealed glimpses of an ice-blue tank. And just for fun I’d added an orange, sequined sash and dangly spangly earrings.

We headed to Jefferson. The Stillwater Inn is an elegant restaurant in a historic, two-storied house. Pressed white table cloths and napkins. Tea lights winking through jewel-toned, beaded lamp shades. He had the spinach leek soup as appetizer, while I savored every bite of a luscious lump-crab salad. We both ordered grilled Soho salmon with a light balsamic-vinagrette sauce. The bread was fresh and warm. The wine was cold and sweet. We swapped funny stories and the current status of our individual projects. We looked each other in the eye. We smiled a lot. The casual observer would have most likely pegged us as new lovers. Which, in some ways, we were.

After dinner we returned home. George plugged Michael Buble’s “It’s Time” CD in the stereo and we danced. Slow. Swing. Salsa. This is all my native soil. He was doing it for me. But the little-boy delight in his eyes said he loved it as much as I did.

A single lamp provided our spotlight as we twirled, wrapped in the swirling chocolate of my skirt. It was wonderful. Heavenly. Divine.

Do I think it’s necessary to go out for expensive dinners to keep love alive? No. Popcorn and a DVD works, too. Or just sitting side-by-side on a bench, watching the stars come out. The point, after all, is the stars. And remembering to believe and adore.

I’ve found the one my soul loves. I hope I never become so familiar that I forget.


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45 responses

25 08 2005
Anonymous

Wine? Don’t let the Baptists see you:)

Wonderful post. Makes me anticipate finding “the one.”

Craig.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

Wine? Don’t let the Baptists see you:)

Wonderful post. Makes me anticipate finding “the one.”

Craig.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

Wine? Don’t let the Baptists see you:)

Wonderful post. Makes me anticipate finding “the one.”

Craig.

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Ah, yes. What would happen if Jesus showed up at one of their pot-luck suppers, and the grape juice suddenly experienced a dramatic conversion? πŸ˜‰

Actually, many of my dearest friends are Baptists. I love them. And I don’t despise people who choose not to drink alcohol. For many years I was one of them. All things to the glory of God, eh?

Thanks, Craig. I hope you find “the one” soon.

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Ah, yes. What would happen if Jesus showed up at one of their pot-luck suppers, and the grape juice suddenly experienced a dramatic conversion? πŸ˜‰

Actually, many of my dearest friends are Baptists. I love them. And I don’t despise people who choose not to drink alcohol. For many years I was one of them. All things to the glory of God, eh?

Thanks, Craig. I hope you find “the one” soon.

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Ah, yes. What would happen if Jesus showed up at one of their pot-luck suppers, and the grape juice suddenly experienced a dramatic conversion? πŸ˜‰

Actually, many of my dearest friends are Baptists. I love them. And I don’t despise people who choose not to drink alcohol. For many years I was one of them. All things to the glory of God, eh?

Thanks, Craig. I hope you find “the one” soon.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

RE: Date night

Thanks for saying what some of the less poetic ones among us can’t find the words to say — long marriages are anything but boring. I’ve been married almost 28 years and I think he’s more wonderful now than when we first got married. Our marriage is richer, we understand each other better. I think marriages go through seasons — sometimes it’s all blooming and lovely, then there may come a season that’s a little frosty. But renewal comes if you don’t give up too soon. I’m afraid too many couples give up too soon.
Blessings on you and George — may you have many many more lovely years together.
Linda

25 08 2005
Anonymous

RE: Date night

Thanks for saying what some of the less poetic ones among us can’t find the words to say — long marriages are anything but boring. I’ve been married almost 28 years and I think he’s more wonderful now than when we first got married. Our marriage is richer, we understand each other better. I think marriages go through seasons — sometimes it’s all blooming and lovely, then there may come a season that’s a little frosty. But renewal comes if you don’t give up too soon. I’m afraid too many couples give up too soon.
Blessings on you and George — may you have many many more lovely years together.
Linda

25 08 2005
Anonymous

RE: Date night

Thanks for saying what some of the less poetic ones among us can’t find the words to say — long marriages are anything but boring. I’ve been married almost 28 years and I think he’s more wonderful now than when we first got married. Our marriage is richer, we understand each other better. I think marriages go through seasons — sometimes it’s all blooming and lovely, then there may come a season that’s a little frosty. But renewal comes if you don’t give up too soon. I’m afraid too many couples give up too soon.
Blessings on you and George — may you have many many more lovely years together.
Linda

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Date night

Thanks, Linda. So true about the seasons in marriage! We’ve definitely had our share of cold fronts around here. But, like you said, choosing to endure the biting chill makes the warmth of spring that much sweeter.

All the best to you and your fortunate husband. ♥

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Date night

Thanks, Linda. So true about the seasons in marriage! We’ve definitely had our share of cold fronts around here. But, like you said, choosing to endure the biting chill makes the warmth of spring that much sweeter.

All the best to you and your fortunate husband. ♥

25 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Date night

Thanks, Linda. So true about the seasons in marriage! We’ve definitely had our share of cold fronts around here. But, like you said, choosing to endure the biting chill makes the warmth of spring that much sweeter.

All the best to you and your fortunate husband. ♥

25 08 2005
hershey_s

wonderful! now that’s the kind of marraige i would like! and hey, wining and dining is definitely nice, even when popcorn and park benches would have sufficed.

25 08 2005
hershey_s

wonderful! now that’s the kind of marraige i would like! and hey, wining and dining is definitely nice, even when popcorn and park benches would have sufficed.

25 08 2005
hershey_s

wonderful! now that’s the kind of marraige i would like! and hey, wining and dining is definitely nice, even when popcorn and park benches would have sufficed.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

from relevantgirlie

What a terrif post! That worm guy has verve!

And, my dear, your writing always, always captivates me.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

from relevantgirlie

What a terrif post! That worm guy has verve!

And, my dear, your writing always, always captivates me.

25 08 2005
Anonymous

from relevantgirlie

What a terrif post! That worm guy has verve!

And, my dear, your writing always, always captivates me.

26 08 2005
Anonymous

How True….!

Zach hasn’t written for a week or so in his live journal & I am going through withdrawals. πŸ™‚ (I’m his mom) Your family has touched him in such a special way. I thank God for your place in his life. I jumped over here to your blog out of curiosity. You have such heartfelt & well thought out comments on his journal. Well, your message about such intimate moments in your seasoned marriage– hits sweetly home this morning. In fact I have quiet tears in my eyes as I type. Mike & I have one of those special and rich relationships. He is so kind and easygoing & funny. It is easy for me, as well, to let him become like those everyday jeans that are always there to put on but many times not to be savored for their easy fit and to think my jeans even stretch, which is symbolic of my husband. πŸ™‚ I was awakened last evening with that enlightening sweetness – that dawning repeated revelation that comes…that I cherish Michael like no other. I am so lucky to share the “private details of his life”. Yes, the periods of friction with each other can cause chapped skin or cuts or callouses but that amazing bond and peaceful respect, reassuring acceptance & resilient love that changes shapes– acts as healing salve to both of us like nothing else. God had to know the incredible capacity & sacredness that love in everlasting marriage can be. Have you ever just rested your cheek on your dear husbands forehead and felt ministered too? Hope you don’t mind I visited your blog. πŸ™‚

Warm regards to you and your family. May Grace get back safe & soon from her travels. πŸ™‚

Michal Marie Fleury

26 08 2005
Anonymous

How True….!

Zach hasn’t written for a week or so in his live journal & I am going through withdrawals. πŸ™‚ (I’m his mom) Your family has touched him in such a special way. I thank God for your place in his life. I jumped over here to your blog out of curiosity. You have such heartfelt & well thought out comments on his journal. Well, your message about such intimate moments in your seasoned marriage– hits sweetly home this morning. In fact I have quiet tears in my eyes as I type. Mike & I have one of those special and rich relationships. He is so kind and easygoing & funny. It is easy for me, as well, to let him become like those everyday jeans that are always there to put on but many times not to be savored for their easy fit and to think my jeans even stretch, which is symbolic of my husband. πŸ™‚ I was awakened last evening with that enlightening sweetness – that dawning repeated revelation that comes…that I cherish Michael like no other. I am so lucky to share the “private details of his life”. Yes, the periods of friction with each other can cause chapped skin or cuts or callouses but that amazing bond and peaceful respect, reassuring acceptance & resilient love that changes shapes– acts as healing salve to both of us like nothing else. God had to know the incredible capacity & sacredness that love in everlasting marriage can be. Have you ever just rested your cheek on your dear husbands forehead and felt ministered too? Hope you don’t mind I visited your blog. πŸ™‚

Warm regards to you and your family. May Grace get back safe & soon from her travels. πŸ™‚

Michal Marie Fleury

26 08 2005
Anonymous

How True….!

Zach hasn’t written for a week or so in his live journal & I am going through withdrawals. πŸ™‚ (I’m his mom) Your family has touched him in such a special way. I thank God for your place in his life. I jumped over here to your blog out of curiosity. You have such heartfelt & well thought out comments on his journal. Well, your message about such intimate moments in your seasoned marriage– hits sweetly home this morning. In fact I have quiet tears in my eyes as I type. Mike & I have one of those special and rich relationships. He is so kind and easygoing & funny. It is easy for me, as well, to let him become like those everyday jeans that are always there to put on but many times not to be savored for their easy fit and to think my jeans even stretch, which is symbolic of my husband. πŸ™‚ I was awakened last evening with that enlightening sweetness – that dawning repeated revelation that comes…that I cherish Michael like no other. I am so lucky to share the “private details of his life”. Yes, the periods of friction with each other can cause chapped skin or cuts or callouses but that amazing bond and peaceful respect, reassuring acceptance & resilient love that changes shapes– acts as healing salve to both of us like nothing else. God had to know the incredible capacity & sacredness that love in everlasting marriage can be. Have you ever just rested your cheek on your dear husbands forehead and felt ministered too? Hope you don’t mind I visited your blog. πŸ™‚

Warm regards to you and your family. May Grace get back safe & soon from her travels. πŸ™‚

Michal Marie Fleury

26 08 2005
Anonymous

Sorry he was almost late

Jeanne,

George was leaving the lab, later than he meant to, and I asked him for a ride down to the south loop to get my car. He said that he would be glad to. I had no idea that I was making him late for such an evening, or I would not have asked. But then, the fact that he took me without making me feel guilty is what makes him such a great guy.

Matthew McBroom

26 08 2005
Anonymous

Sorry he was almost late

Jeanne,

George was leaving the lab, later than he meant to, and I asked him for a ride down to the south loop to get my car. He said that he would be glad to. I had no idea that I was making him late for such an evening, or I would not have asked. But then, the fact that he took me without making me feel guilty is what makes him such a great guy.

Matthew McBroom

26 08 2005
Anonymous

Sorry he was almost late

Jeanne,

George was leaving the lab, later than he meant to, and I asked him for a ride down to the south loop to get my car. He said that he would be glad to. I had no idea that I was making him late for such an evening, or I would not have asked. But then, the fact that he took me without making me feel guilty is what makes him such a great guy.

Matthew McBroom

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Thanks, J. I believe you will make an amazing husband some day. Just keep in mind that marriage is a never-ending construction job. If this is the kind you’d like, then this is the kind you should build–one beautiful choice at a time. ♥

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Thanks, J. I believe you will make an amazing husband some day. Just keep in mind that marriage is a never-ending construction job. If this is the kind you’d like, then this is the kind you should build–one beautiful choice at a time. ♥

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Thanks, J. I believe you will make an amazing husband some day. Just keep in mind that marriage is a never-ending construction job. If this is the kind you’d like, then this is the kind you should build–one beautiful choice at a time. ♥

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: from relevantgirlie

This worm guy rocks my face off. πŸ˜‰

Thanks, r.girlie. Coming from you, that’s a compliment suitable for framing and hanging over the fireplace.

Love you!

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: from relevantgirlie

This worm guy rocks my face off. πŸ˜‰

Thanks, r.girlie. Coming from you, that’s a compliment suitable for framing and hanging over the fireplace.

Love you!

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: from relevantgirlie

This worm guy rocks my face off. πŸ˜‰

Thanks, r.girlie. Coming from you, that’s a compliment suitable for framing and hanging over the fireplace.

Love you!

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: How True….!

You hope I don’t mind you visited my blog? Oh, my goodness! I love the beautiful words you’ve written here. I can see where Zach gets his talent. Thank you so much for reading and adding these lovely thoughts. Please come back often.

Zach is delightful! I’ve been wondering about his absence from journal land. Tell him his public is getting antsy.

You’re welcome for any way our family has touched Zach. He’s not difficult to love. πŸ™‚

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: How True….!

You hope I don’t mind you visited my blog? Oh, my goodness! I love the beautiful words you’ve written here. I can see where Zach gets his talent. Thank you so much for reading and adding these lovely thoughts. Please come back often.

Zach is delightful! I’ve been wondering about his absence from journal land. Tell him his public is getting antsy.

You’re welcome for any way our family has touched Zach. He’s not difficult to love. πŸ™‚

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: How True….!

You hope I don’t mind you visited my blog? Oh, my goodness! I love the beautiful words you’ve written here. I can see where Zach gets his talent. Thank you so much for reading and adding these lovely thoughts. Please come back often.

Zach is delightful! I’ve been wondering about his absence from journal land. Tell him his public is getting antsy.

You’re welcome for any way our family has touched Zach. He’s not difficult to love. πŸ™‚

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Sorry he was almost late

Aw, don’t feel bad, Matt! I wouldn’t have been ready to go if he’d arrived home any earlier. But you’re right about George. He’s an amazing servant.

Right now I’m just excited to see your name in my comments! Maybe I should tell George to make you feel guilty more often so you’ll be obligated to post. πŸ™‚

Whether you comment or not, thanks for reading. I’m truly honored.

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Sorry he was almost late

Aw, don’t feel bad, Matt! I wouldn’t have been ready to go if he’d arrived home any earlier. But you’re right about George. He’s an amazing servant.

Right now I’m just excited to see your name in my comments! Maybe I should tell George to make you feel guilty more often so you’ll be obligated to post. πŸ™‚

Whether you comment or not, thanks for reading. I’m truly honored.

26 08 2005
jeannedamoff

Re: Sorry he was almost late

Aw, don’t feel bad, Matt! I wouldn’t have been ready to go if he’d arrived home any earlier. But you’re right about George. He’s an amazing servant.

Right now I’m just excited to see your name in my comments! Maybe I should tell George to make you feel guilty more often so you’ll be obligated to post. πŸ™‚

Whether you comment or not, thanks for reading. I’m truly honored.

28 08 2005
furiavriel

i find it creepy yet comforting to know that every wednesday night my parents make out shamelessly.

l.l

28 08 2005
furiavriel

i find it creepy yet comforting to know that every wednesday night my parents make out shamelessly.

l.l

28 08 2005
furiavriel

i find it creepy yet comforting to know that every wednesday night my parents make out shamelessly.

l.l

28 08 2005
Anonymous

Laughing out loud

Luke, you are really special.

l.z.m.

(Love,Zachs Mom)

28 08 2005
Anonymous

Laughing out loud

Luke, you are really special.

l.z.m.

(Love,Zachs Mom)

28 08 2005
Anonymous

Laughing out loud

Luke, you are really special.

l.z.m.

(Love,Zachs Mom)

28 08 2005
jeannedamoff

πŸ˜‰

28 08 2005
jeannedamoff

πŸ˜‰

28 08 2005
jeannedamoff

πŸ˜‰

Your comments are a gift. Please know I read each one with gratitude.

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