For Mary

25 01 2006

My good friend, Mary, received a fantabulous review in Publisher’s Weekly Religion Bookline on her upcoming, debut novel, Watching the Tree Limbs. I e-mailed my congratulations, and she responded in her typical turn-the-attention-back-to-you fashion, “Can’t wait to read your swimming reviews!!!”

After receiving my reply to that comment, she insisted I post it on my blog. I’m obeying her because, as we all know, Mary lives in France.

I wrote:

Why wait? Here’s a foretaste:

Critics everywhere are raving about Jeanne Damoff’s swimming. Bart Toofer of Swim Like the Wind magazine asked Damoff how she mastered her stroke. “Oh, you know,” she said, downplaying her outstanding achievements, “I just sort of got in the water and flailed around, and before I knew it, whoa! I was, like, swimming for real.”

Wow, folks. Excuse me a moment while I regain my composure. Such humility. Such an amazing grasp on existential realities. Don’t be surprised if life as we’ve always known it ceases to exist as Jeanne Damoff ushers in a new of age of, um, yeah. The world will never be the same. Neither will the universe. Or Australia.

Maybe I’ll just write all my own reviews. Could be fun.

Love, J.A., le T., famous all over the world, the universe, and even Australia

~*~*~*~*~~**~~~* *

For those unfamiliar with French abbreviations, J.A., le T. stands for Jeanne Amelie, le Troisieme, which translated means, Jeanne Amelie, the Third, which is only a small part of a long title I use when writing Mary. And one begins to marvel that this woman (meaning me, not Mary) ever managed to finish writing a novel. But she did. Stay tuned for all the swimming reviews coming soon (i.e., as soon as I post them).


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21 responses

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Writing our own reviews

I LOVE the idea of writing our own reviews. And think of all the possibilities. Not only writing (and swimming) but hey, laundry, scrubbing the floor, pushing a kid on a swing are just begging to be raved about. Can you tell what my day’s been like? 🙂

Jennifer Tiszai

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Writing our own reviews

I LOVE the idea of writing our own reviews. And think of all the possibilities. Not only writing (and swimming) but hey, laundry, scrubbing the floor, pushing a kid on a swing are just begging to be raved about. Can you tell what my day’s been like? 🙂

Jennifer Tiszai

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Writing our own reviews

I LOVE the idea of writing our own reviews. And think of all the possibilities. Not only writing (and swimming) but hey, laundry, scrubbing the floor, pushing a kid on a swing are just begging to be raved about. Can you tell what my day’s been like? 🙂

Jennifer Tiszai

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Re: Writing our own reviews

In the words of the infamous pretty boy rockers from Chicago…You’ve got too much (CLAP! CLAP!) time on your hands…

Funny stuff.

Mike S.

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Re: Writing our own reviews

In the words of the infamous pretty boy rockers from Chicago…You’ve got too much (CLAP! CLAP!) time on your hands…

Funny stuff.

Mike S.

25 01 2006
Anonymous

Re: Writing our own reviews

In the words of the infamous pretty boy rockers from Chicago…You’ve got too much (CLAP! CLAP!) time on your hands…

Funny stuff.

Mike S.

26 01 2006
Anonymous

You’re the best swimmer ever

So cool to see you OBEYED my frenchified self. I think everyone everywhere needs to know about your swimming prowress (sp??).

Maryoffrance

26 01 2006
Anonymous

You’re the best swimmer ever

So cool to see you OBEYED my frenchified self. I think everyone everywhere needs to know about your swimming prowress (sp??).

Maryoffrance

26 01 2006
Anonymous

You’re the best swimmer ever

So cool to see you OBEYED my frenchified self. I think everyone everywhere needs to know about your swimming prowress (sp??).

Maryoffrance

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

a legend in her own mind

Okay, Jennifer, it’s confession time. I often keep a running narrative going in my head, making myself a character in an oh-so-exciting movie about my life. Scrubbing the floor may seem like a mundane task on the surface, but not when you’re really a spy posing as a housekeeper for a rich and eccentric count whose housekeepers have been mysteriously disappearing for the past twenty years, and yet no one has been able to catch him in any mischief. And don’t get me started on the scandals surrounding laundry. I mean, after all, this is a family friendly blog.

When I cook I’m a chef on some cooking show. When I work out I’m the star of an exercise video. The UPS man is a disguised fan hoping to catch a glimpse of my famous self.

I’m afraid if I wrote reviews on my life, no one (not even my own husband) would recognize me in them. So I’ll just keep writing them gleefully in my head for my own amusement.

Try it. It’s fun! But be ready to explain when your family catches you smiling at an imaginary camera and saying things like, “Just add a pinch of cayene and don’t overdo the cumin.”

Time to go film another exercise video . . .

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

a legend in her own mind

Okay, Jennifer, it’s confession time. I often keep a running narrative going in my head, making myself a character in an oh-so-exciting movie about my life. Scrubbing the floor may seem like a mundane task on the surface, but not when you’re really a spy posing as a housekeeper for a rich and eccentric count whose housekeepers have been mysteriously disappearing for the past twenty years, and yet no one has been able to catch him in any mischief. And don’t get me started on the scandals surrounding laundry. I mean, after all, this is a family friendly blog.

When I cook I’m a chef on some cooking show. When I work out I’m the star of an exercise video. The UPS man is a disguised fan hoping to catch a glimpse of my famous self.

I’m afraid if I wrote reviews on my life, no one (not even my own husband) would recognize me in them. So I’ll just keep writing them gleefully in my head for my own amusement.

Try it. It’s fun! But be ready to explain when your family catches you smiling at an imaginary camera and saying things like, “Just add a pinch of cayene and don’t overdo the cumin.”

Time to go film another exercise video . . .

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

a legend in her own mind

Okay, Jennifer, it’s confession time. I often keep a running narrative going in my head, making myself a character in an oh-so-exciting movie about my life. Scrubbing the floor may seem like a mundane task on the surface, but not when you’re really a spy posing as a housekeeper for a rich and eccentric count whose housekeepers have been mysteriously disappearing for the past twenty years, and yet no one has been able to catch him in any mischief. And don’t get me started on the scandals surrounding laundry. I mean, after all, this is a family friendly blog.

When I cook I’m a chef on some cooking show. When I work out I’m the star of an exercise video. The UPS man is a disguised fan hoping to catch a glimpse of my famous self.

I’m afraid if I wrote reviews on my life, no one (not even my own husband) would recognize me in them. So I’ll just keep writing them gleefully in my head for my own amusement.

Try it. It’s fun! But be ready to explain when your family catches you smiling at an imaginary camera and saying things like, “Just add a pinch of cayene and don’t overdo the cumin.”

Time to go film another exercise video . . .

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Re: Writing our own reviews

Thanks, Mike.

By the way, you’ve got too many (clap! clap!) bands in your head.

J.

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Re: Writing our own reviews

Thanks, Mike.

By the way, you’ve got too many (clap! clap!) bands in your head.

J.

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Re: Writing our own reviews

Thanks, Mike.

By the way, you’ve got too many (clap! clap!) bands in your head.

J.

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Pirates of the French Jungle

And I think everyone everywhere needs to obey your french-fried, er, frenchified self.

That would be “prowess” without the Arrrrr. However, I rather like prowress. It sounds a bit wild and jungle-y. “Me, Jane. How’s about a little swimmy-poo, Tarzie?”

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Pirates of the French Jungle

And I think everyone everywhere needs to obey your french-fried, er, frenchified self.

That would be “prowess” without the Arrrrr. However, I rather like prowress. It sounds a bit wild and jungle-y. “Me, Jane. How’s about a little swimmy-poo, Tarzie?”

26 01 2006
jeannedamoff

Pirates of the French Jungle

And I think everyone everywhere needs to obey your french-fried, er, frenchified self.

That would be “prowess” without the Arrrrr. However, I rather like prowress. It sounds a bit wild and jungle-y. “Me, Jane. How’s about a little swimmy-poo, Tarzie?”

30 01 2006
Anonymous

go ahead, make my day…

Go ahead and see if gG will recognize you in some of those fantasy reviews.
meGAD

30 01 2006
Anonymous

go ahead, make my day…

Go ahead and see if gG will recognize you in some of those fantasy reviews.
meGAD

30 01 2006
Anonymous

go ahead, make my day…

Go ahead and see if gG will recognize you in some of those fantasy reviews.
meGAD

Your comments are a gift. Please know I read each one with gratitude.

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