It’s never as dark as you think it is.

3 06 2006

Some people compare themselves to smarter, richer, better-looking folks and feel inferior. Others compare themselves to people who are dumber, poorer, or uglier, and it makes them feel special.

I think I’d rather just look at the stars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

This morning we went to J.C. Penney for a half-price sale. After finding what I was looking for, I searched for George and Jacob in the men’s department. I found Jacob standing alone beside a wall display of Dockers. “Where’s Daddy?”

“He’s trying something on.”

“So you’re just hanging out here with the pants waiting, eh?”

“Yeah.” He paused. Then in the slow, oddly inflected manner of speech that has been uniquely his since the brain injury he added, “Like some humans do on the earth.”

Jacob makes random remarks like this all the time. He’s not trying to be funny. It’s just an observation that seems appropriate to him at the time. Combined with his voice, it’s really quite endearing.

I smiled at him. “Jacob, I think you’re the cutest one ever.”

He grinned back. “No, you are.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Yep. I think I’d rather just look at the stars.


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17 responses

4 06 2006
allenb

I fell in love with this post from the subject line, and only grew to adore it more as I read.

Somehow Jacob’s words seem strangely insightful. I’m not sure about what, or why … but they gave me pause.

Keep looking at the stars. 🙂

Love,

Allen

4 06 2006
traci37

I love him.

5 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Thanks, Allen.

Jacob’s words “give us pause” a lot. According to medical science and biological realities (i.e., brains die if denied oxygen for extended periods of time), he shouldn’t even be alive, much less able to connect with the world. But sometimes his connection seems much more profound than that of the greatest, most functional of minds.

“‘Tis a gift to be simple
‘Tis a gift to be free,
‘Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be.

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
It will be in the valley of love and delight.

And when simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend we will not be ashamed.

To turn, turn will be our delight
‘Til by turning, turning we turn ’round right.”

♥ EZ

5 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Me, too. 🙂

5 06 2006
milesprowl

That was awesome. Jacob is wicked cool! Wow!

I like the stars. I need to get out of the city to see them though.

5 06 2006
allenb

If I might be so bold, from the sound of things, he appears to have lost the ability to create the delusions we all do create when interpreting the world. From what you’ve written it would seem that he sees things in their simple truth, rather than the way the rest of us perceive them with layers of paint and plaster. Jacob, the Taoist master. 🙂

BTW, have you ever read the Tao of Pooh?

6 06 2006
ragamuffen

I love this story. I love you. Jacob. Your whole family and the perspective each of you have. Thank you for continuing to share of your life with us.

xoxo

6 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Thanks. I’ll pass that remark along to Jacob. 🙂

I’m a big wimp in the cold, but I suck it up to go outside at night when we’re in the Rocky Mountains. The stars are mesmerizing! They’re so beautiful I don’t mind being reminded how small I am.

6 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Thanks, dear ragamuffen. It’s a pleasure to share with your adorable, loving self. ♥

6 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Good assessment. With Jacob there are no layers of paint and plaster. There aren’t even any walls. He is guileless, gameless, and pure in heart.

No, I’ve never read the Tao of Pooh, but I’m a big fan of the Hundred Acre Wood gang. Who wrote it?

6 06 2006
allenb

It was written by a man named Benjamin Hoff. He says one of the greatest Western Toaist masters is Winnie the Pooh. It’s quite fascinating and insightful. Especially the chapter on ‘The Eyore Effect.’ 🙂 I highly recommend it.

6 06 2006
Anonymous

My Daughter Jeanne

I am constantly amazed by my sweet, beautiful, intelligent and darling daughter. I read your blogs with love and appreciation for who you are and the wonderful influence you have on your family and friends. You are a genius. Loved the photo story of Gingergreg.

Love, Dad

PS I look forward to stargazing with you in Colorado

6 06 2006
Anonymous

My Daughter Jeanne

I am constantly amazed by my sweet, beautiful, intelligent and darling daughter. I read your blogs with love and appreciation for who you are and the wonderful influence you have on your family and friends. You are a genius. Loved the photo story of Gingergreg.

Love, Dad

PS I look forward to stargazing with you in Colorado

6 06 2006
allenb

It was written by a gentleman named Benjamin Hoff. There was also a sequel called “Te of Piglet.”

Fun books, it won’t get you to heaven per se, but it’ll make life on earth a little more understandable. You can find it either in the self help or philosophy section of your local bookstore.

7 06 2006
jeannedamoff

Re: My Daughter Jeanne

Yay! This is your first comment in my journal, Dad-o-mine. You made me happy. 🙂

So, I’m a genius, eh? Between you and George, it’s no wonder I’ve got such a big head.

Gingergreg is a rock star. And so are you.

Love you madly.
The Middle One

8 06 2006
wordgeek

“Like some humans do on the earth.”

That is SO funny. I can totally hear him saying it, too.

8 06 2006
jeannedamoff

CHRIS! Thanks for stopping by.

I should interview Jacob some time and post it online. It’s impossible to capture the essence of his speech without audio.

Please tell the (growing) family Supermodel says hello. Y’all come see us, y’hear?

Your comments are a gift. Please know I read each one with gratitude.

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