Pillow Talk

14 02 2007

Happy Valentine’s Day! (Think chocolate.)

In other news, one of the challenges to writing good fiction is making dialogue believable. How many times have you been reading a book and thought, “No one really talks that way”? There’s an art to natural dialogue, but the big question is, who gets to decide what’s “natural”?

I occasionally post real-life conversations here, often transcribed from our dinner-table discussions. Obviously I try to select snippets with entertainment value and avoid mundanities. I have to wonder, though, would a reader believe it if I put some of these conversations in a novel?

Take last night. George and I were lying in bed. (This is rated G, by the way. TVFH is a family friendly blog.)

George: Are you going skiing before or after Mount Hermon?

Jeanne: The weekend before. I arrive back in Dallas on Monday and leave again on Thursday.

George: So, you’ll be gone from Thursday to Monday?

Jeanne: No, I’ll be gone from Thursday to Tuesday. I get back on Monday, leave on Thursday, and return again on Tuesday.

George: So, you arrive in Dallas on Monday, but you’re driving home on Tuesday?

Jeanne: No, I leave on a Friday for Colorado and get back on Monday. I leave the next Thursday for Mount Hermon and get back on Tuesday.

George: Are you coming home between trips or staying in Dallas?

Jeanne: I don’t know. It seems like at least one other year I did this I just stayed in Dallas. In fact, I know I did. I remember repacking my suitcase. I took my ski clothes out and put my Mount Hermon clothes in.

George: Did you do the Hokey Pokey?

Jeanne: I always do the Hokey Pokey. (Pause.) That’s what it’s all about.

Jealousy over our steamy pillow talk aside, I ask you, is this natural? It’s my habitat, but I’m not sure I live in the real world.

One last note: About five minutes after this exchange, I busted out laughing. It finally dawned on me why he asked if I did the Hokey Pokey.


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8 responses

15 02 2007
Anonymous

Oy to the vey

Now I’m craving chocolate (and still have the snyder q-tip visual in my head).
Heather G.
Add to that the hokey pokey song, which makes me think of roller skating, which makes me think of the last time i went roller skating and fell on my butt so hard, i had to crawl out of the rink (hence “the last time” part, which makes me think of frogs, which makes me think of toads, which makes me think of ACFW, which makes me think of writing, which reminds me that i’ve spent entirely too much time online this morning.

15 02 2007
Anonymous

The Real World: Marshall?

Jeanne, you crack me up. Maybe you should ask Mark Burnett to follow you guys around with a camera and make a new reality TV show. But what would be the name of that show…

And yes, I seem to recall that you were doing back to back trips two years ago when I went to MH with you. I remember you talking about staying in Dallas and changing out your ski clothes and how weird it was to pack a suitcase for such a wide range of temperatures.

Tina H

17 02 2007
acornstwo

G Rated?

Now you promised this was a family friendly blog, and there you go, discussing the hokey pokey in bed.

24 02 2007
jeannedamoff

Re: Oy to the vey

I love to roller skate! Sorry about your butt, but if it ultimately makes you think of writing, then I guess you could say it all worked together for good. Or something.

24 02 2007
jeannedamoff

Re: The Real World: Marshall?

Wow, I’m out of touch with reality shows. Who is Mark Burnett? Would I really be comfortable inviting him into my bedroom? And, indeed, what would be the name of that show? Life is full of profound mysteries to be pondered. (These are not some of them.)

24 02 2007
jeannedamoff

Re: G Rated?

Oops. Was that bad? See, I don’t even know. Maybe my brain is just G rated and I’m living in happy oblivion. Worse things could happen I suppose.

26 02 2007
Anonymous

Re: The Real World: Marshall?

Ah, Jeanne…Mark Burnett, most well known for being the creator and producer of Survivor (and also the Apprentice)
🙂 TH

27 02 2007
Anonymous

hahahahahahaha -nathan

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