In a recent post I mentioned that, as part of my jubilee, I’m treating my body to a full tune up and detailing this year–making sure the old engine is still running smoothly and none of the screws are loose. (Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re thinking. Just zip it, you.)
So, yesterday I went to the dentist. I actually thought I’d been pretty good about regular dental care, but when I sat in the chair, Kyla (the cute, young hygienist) told me my last appointment was in December of ’04. Crazy. “I guess time flies when you’re ignoring those little reminder cards,” I joked. Or something to that effect.
I really do take good care of my teeth, though. Kyla seemed genuinely impressed. Sure, she had to scrape away several year’s worth of barnacles (my description; she liked it) with her little metal pick, but I won the gold medal in flossing and even earned an honorable mention for whiteness. No cavities. No gum issues. Go, me. Actually, go Mom and Dad’s DNA. I should write them a thank-you note.
Kyla escorted me to the reception area where I wrote a check that reminded me why I don’t do this every six months. The receptionist wanted to schedule my next appointment for December, but I said, “Let’s not schedule one yet.”
“Okay,” she said, “We’ll just send you a reminder card.”
“Sounds great!” I avoided eye contact with Kyla.
I admit I do love that barnacle-free feeling when you run your tongue across freshly scraped and polished teeth. To return to my original metaphor, it’s like cleaning all the dried, splattered bugs off a car’s grill. When I smile, the sun sends little sparkle kisses winking off my shiny bright teeth.
Speaking of expensive dental visits, Luke went to the dentist recently, too. He had ten cavities! Kyla told me she wants to have a baby and name him Luke. Not because of the cavities, though.
Then I found five dollars on the sidewalk! (Not really, but Luke says when you’re telling a story and you begin to realize it’s boring, you should just throw in that you found five dollars. Okay, I’m leaving now.)