Promises: They’re What’s for Dinner

12 06 2008

Budget-conscious families often stretch their dollars by purchasing food in bulk quantities and freezing it. We do that, too. Sort of. Whenever Dove Dark Chocolates go on sale, we stock up and pile them in the freezer. We have mounds of chocolate in our freezer. Sure, meat has its virtues, and veggies are like little vitamin mines, but Dove Dark Chocolates improve our minds and fill us with hope. Forget antioxidants and bioflavonoids. With Dove, you get the “Promises.”

Did you ever notice that the Promises don’t promise anything? In fact, I think the company may have taken some flack for false advertising, because they removed the word from the outer packaging. It’s still on the inside of the individual foil wrappers, but now it says, “Promises Message.” It’s not a promise. It’s a message from a promise. Or something.

One such wrapper lies before me now. When I read the Promises Message, a scene popped into my mind. I pictured a man arriving home after work on his wedding anniversary. As soon as he opens the door, he sees a candle-lit table and smells tantalizing aromas wafting from the kitchen. His wife enters the room wearing a slinky black dress and gazes at him with loving expectation.

What to do now? He totally forgot their anniversary, but he can’t tell her that–not after she’s put so much thought and effort into pleasing him. Suddenly his antioxidized brain cells recall the Promises Message he read earlier that afternoon when he was popping chocolates. Of course! If it’s Promises, it’s got to be true.

He smiles at his wife and quotes the ancient wisdom of mass-produced candy wrappers: “Sometimes one smile means more than a dozen roses.”

He usually prefers to eat his lasagna, but tonight he’ll be wearing it instead.


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