Summer Luxury

25 06 2010

“I can afford to shop at WalMart, but I choose to shop at Big Lots.”

My husband said that. And he was being serious. (Remember, ladies, thou shalt not covet. Sorry to make you stumble, but this sugar daddy is mine all mine.) Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What does ‘Summer Luxury’ have to do with shopping at WalMart or Big Lots?”

Actually, the quote is tangential, as you’ll soon discover. Unless, of course, you keep inserting your thoughts and slowing things down.

This post has nothing to do with WalMart or Big Lots. It’s about Payless Shoes. Or at least it starts there. But, if you’re like me, when you consider sharing a story that begins at a Payless store, your brain gloms onto the first, self-amusing, semi-related thing that dares venture too close to consciousness. I mean, is it just me, or is the phrase “I can afford to shop at WalMart” hilarious?

*Crickets*

Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, I needed some new flip-flops, so I hopped in the car and headed to Payless. The first thing I noticed when I stepped through the door was that the inside temperature was hotter than the outside temperature. That’s probably a good thing if you live in Alaska, but I live in Texas, where the heat index camps in triple digits and the humidity is 247%. The sweet lady who worked there told me the AC was out and apologized for the inconvenience. She was managing to survive by standing in front of a fan and drinking her weight in water. I had no fan or water, but I needed flip-flops, and everyone knows no price is too high to pay for fashion.

You common folk may not understand, but people whose husbands can afford to shop at WalMart tend to be picky about their footwear. I was in The Payless from Hades for a good thirty minutes before I made my selection, and by the time I left, I was definitely “glowing.” (That’s the term Southerners use to describe a woman who is sweating like a pig). This called for drastic measures, and I knew exactly what I needed to put me out of my misery. Happy Hour.

Sonic Strawberry Limeade is summer beverage perfection. The ice is perfect. The fizzy sweet-tartness is perfect. The juicy bits of strawberry that sneak up the straw to surprise your taste buds are perfect. The ice is perfect. The fresh lime wedge and strawberry chunks left in the bottom of the cup are perfect. And did I mention the ice? It’s the perfect size, the perfect shape, and the perfect softness for ADA-approved crunching. It’s the ice all other ice dreams of becoming but never will. Sonic Strawberry Limeade is a delectable treat from the first sip to the last bits of berry you scrape off the side of the cup with your straw, if you’re unladylike enough to do that sort of thing. A finger works, too.

Better still, it’s half price from 2:00 to 4:00 PM. Happy Hour indeed! For one dollah and nine cent you can purchase a 16 oz mini-vacation in beverage heaven. So, what are you waiting for? By my clock, you still have ten minutes to get there.

Of course, you should probably bring extra for a tip. I paid the little lady who brought me mine a buck fifty and told her to keep the change, brushing aside her thanks.

Hey, no biggie, sweetheart. My husband can afford to shop at WalMart.


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21 responses

25 06 2010
Heather

i love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much 🙂

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Why, thank you. I just may blush.

25 06 2010
Linda Gilmore

Ah, a summer pleasure I can relate to, though my preference is actually cherry limeades. My daughter in Chicago heads for Sonic as soon as she hits Kansas because they don’t have them in Chicago. I don’t think I could live someplace without Sonic, unless maybe my grandson was there, but I would still miss Sonic and wish Kiernan and Sonic could be in the same place. Fortunately, he lives in Lawrence and there are 3 Sonics there. 🙂

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Three Sonics and a grandbaby? That’s the mother lode, Linda. You must be God’s favorite.

25 06 2010
katdish

Oh, girl! I love to go to Big Lots and play “who would buy that?” I also have an unhealthy affection towards flip flops and Sonic Strawberry Limeades. This post spoke to me on so many levels!

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Fancy our brains connecting on multiple levels! Wait. Let me guess. Your husband can afford to shop at WalMart, too. Freaky, I know. It’s a gift. I don’t talk about it much.

25 06 2010
~ Patricia

When we visited my son and his family the years they lived in Blossom, TX (outside Detroit), we’d drive to Sonic in Paris for strawberry limeades. I’m over an hour from the closest Sonic here in SW Florida, and it’s probably a good thing. No worries though. I’ve access to a drive-through that brews the most refreshing over-sized servings of sweet tea for all my southern-belle glowing and glistening relief. (Thank you for the kind words, sweet friend.)

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Sweet tea certainly has its merits, but you have my heartfelt sympathy for your sad state of Sonic-less-ness. SW Florida needs to get their act together.

Also, you’re welcome for the kind words. They’re well deserved. xo

25 06 2010
Kirsten Wilson

Every Friday during the school year, I pick up my kids from school and we head to the Sonic happy hour. Thankfully, my son is doing a summer school program, so the tradition continues…although I’m sure I’ll find a reason to justify it even after summer school’s done. Sometimes we go to Sonic and buy a big bag of their ice just to enjoy its crunchy goodness.

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Sonic every Friday? And big bags of ice? Are you by any chance interested in adopting a 52-year-old daughter? (She’s already potty trained and comes with her own flip-flops.)

25 06 2010
Sandy Shorey

Hilarious? Absolutely. You’re hilarious for sure. Thanks for the laugh.

I’m partial to the Cherry Limeade, myself. A throwback to the old days, I suppose. I just discovered Happy Hour, and I must confess that I imbibe occasionally.

I have to stack my flip-flops in the closet…when I find a pair I like, I tend to purchase multiple colors. That would be because, thankfully, I can afford to shop at Walmart…and sometimes even Target.

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Sandy, you know it’s not polite to boast about your expansive flip-flop collection and financial superiority. However, since you said I’m hilarious, I’m going to let it slip this time.

Maybe I’ll run into you in WalMart one day, or perhaps–should the economy rebound–even Target. (A girl can aim for the heights, right?)

25 06 2010
laura

Oh, yum. There’s a lot of glowing going on here in WV. Some glistening too. I may need two of these.

25 06 2010
jeannedamoff

Makes sense to me. Laura. Like Jemaine of FOTC says, “Two minutes in heaven are better than one minute in heaven.”

26 06 2010
Sherri L Woodbridge

Jeanne – you are a riot and i love your posts –
i forgot about happy hour but will have to try the strawberry limeade tomorrow – now i’m thirsty!!!

29 06 2010
Duane Scott

This was wonderfully written… And now I’m craving me a limeade from Sonic. And the closest one is 200 miles away. It was the picture that did me in.

Anyway, love your blog. Following you now and will be back!

2 07 2010
jeannedamoff

Thanks, Duane (Dew-wayne). I’m happy and honored to have your company.

30 06 2010
Billy Coffey

Big Lots is my friend. I go to Walmart when I get paid. And there is nothing in this world better than a Sonic Strawberry Limeade. It’s the Slurpee of the well-to-do folks.

2 07 2010
jeannedamoff

“the Slurpee of the well-to-do folks.”

Oh my. You and George would get along famously.

5 07 2010
deb

Well, as a Canadian, I get the Payless attraction, and we have a not nearly as amazing Walmart, but the other stuff. No.
So I appreciate the vivid description of something I am now craving something I can’t get. 🙂

28 09 2010
You’ll never guess where I went « The View From Here

[…] Wal-Mart (my husband can afford it) b.) Gatorland, the Alligator Capitol of the World c.) […]

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